Tuesday, September 30, 2008
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ouchies. my right eye feels like its been punched again.
must be from the straining of tryin to keep it open on the late nights.
i need a LIFE.
instead of cooping up in my room day in day out and just playing games or chatting with the few people that i chat with or watching tv shows which i got off the internet.
i need new goals new solutions to old problems and money.
i was just thinking how am I gonna survive with about $200 for the whole of oct.
ok i just found out i owe a lot of people money. lol. i really need to re manage my spending and take jowells advice. spend when you only need.
well anyways i tink that $200 roughly 3/4 of it going to go to bills and most prob the remaining to pay back people. speaking of which. the school still owes me $150! lol. for fyp. rawr. but that 150 also my dads. so sad.
I NEED TO WORK.
but i already agreed with my parents if they increased my allowance i would stop work till schs over. argh. if nt this whole hols i'd be making a few hundreds and that can certainly pay back my debts and still have some extra to get people gifts.
oh well. what can i do but just try to live on what i have.
ok things i need to stop next month.
MOVIES.
SPLURGING ON FOOD.
these are the 2 things i need to stop.
splurging on food has already decreased a lot like i've been only one meal a day on most days. so yeah. Faith already said i looked thinner. lol. this means i cant gain weight anymore. =(
sometimes i wished i was as well to do as some other peeps. but oh well. this was the life given to me so im just gonna take it like a man.
"After years of living, i realised that we can't compare our lives to one another. We all experience different events or courses, though we go through the same problem at times, it still different due to the course of actions that led up to it. We all were brought up differently. So don't complain, you dont know what another person might be facing. Just live life as you're either supposed to or choose your own paths." ------ Zachary Mark
this is something that I'd like to leave with the readers of my blog.
-zach
is going to sleep early now.
[[ Zach ]]*|12:56 AM|
Monday, September 29, 2008
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Ditto.
thats how i'd describe my past few days.
hmm. its been day in day out for me these few days and its been draining!
last night had a bad tummy ache till 4+ 5 in the morning.
then had to watke up at about 9 for cell. cause of the new leader. so yeah.
and now cell is every alt wed instead of the weekly tues. so im more free now i guess but next sem is study study study. last sem to try and get a 3 in my gpa so that for once my parents can keep quiet about my gpa.
today went for service almost fell asleep cause i was super tired. after that had lunch at Ah Seah with the usual gang. saw faith chat with her a lil. and jowells out of the army! woo. botak. lol. nt bad suits him. hope he's doing fine and that God will look after him whilst he's in camp. The stories he tells are just damn funny.
ok i know im thinking a bit too far now. but i wonder how would australia be like.
gonna leave singapore in like 2-3 years time and im still just rotting away. how am I going to make the memories last to keep me grounded when im there.
i wonder if my life would change or my personality. it seems that im becoming to have multiple personalities nowadays. like i could be angry and full of hate sometimes or just peace loving or irritated at anything or even quiet and just sitting on my bed doing nothing. and when im out im just an average joe.
well anyways. i've tot of some ways to use my time wisely for the next few years.
imma take up 4 instruments if i can i hope.
2 of which would be self learnt or from friends, of which are the guitar and piano.
Drums from my dads friend from my previous church. hope he'll teach me.
and lastly a flute. dont ask me why but i just gt a sudden interest for it.
but alas these are just dreams. with no action or not much motivation yet.
well tomorrow im going back to sch for FYP again. gonna make a new prototype using a diff method so its more precise in the dimensions and shape. hope this time it'll be able to fly.
anyways i'd also like to congratulate Adeline Ng and Marc Teo on their beautiful wedding on sat at the shang ri la. sorry that i dont have any pics but i hope to get the group one with them soon. its nice to know that people you havent met in ages till remember you. its like all my old friends were there, well almost all of 'em.
i just realise i love to live in my past. and sometimes i wish i could live for NOW instead. and sometimes i dont like to go to weddings who are closely related to me. they always ask me the SAME question. and thats so whens your turn? man. im only 19 this year. I cant even hold my relationships together let alone get married. and whats more i've to go through my parents. thats the final obstacle. and at the state that I'm in i doubt it'll be any time soon too. maybe i'll just try again either after uni or during uni. try wat? mingle with new people.
if i count the number of people i've known from my pri sch till now. it'd be almost 2000 but its like i only contact with around 400-500 plus now i think. or maybe even lesser cause i dont even talk to the people i used to hang out with in pri or sec sch.
i guess its time to sleep now. gotta get up early.
goodnights people of the world.
-zach
is drained.
is thinking of buying a Wii.
has a pair of travis barker sticks.
is looking for 2 songs: bizarre love triangle by frente and the kiss by faith hill.
is looking for an OST from the movie My best friends girl.
cant wait for episode 3 of heroes S3.
[[ Zach ]]*|12:45 AM|
Saturday, September 27, 2008
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yay! heroes is back! haha. the first 2 episodes was great. and now i've gt animax at home! whoopee.
but..
i still get the tv. lol. so cant watch much anyway.
my blog is suddenly so quiet. no one is tagging any more =(
everyday its been computer all day and i havent exercised in a long while. now im training myself after every match i play im going to do push ups. haha. to train my arms first. then after next week its sit ups.
and then next time im going to go running again.
i need to exercise.
oh ya. faith said i became thinner. dunno if its true but i've been tryin to gain weight to no avail. thats like so sad. :|
oh wells. its back to gaming. done my 20 already.
enjoy ur miserable lives people!
i will enjoy mine.
-zach
is jumping like a person 6 feet under.
[[ Zach ]]*|2:36 AM|
Saturday, September 20, 2008
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its been a while since i last posted.
man i got shitty results even after all that mugging. damn it.
my gpa for this sem and overall is almsot the same a 2.8. no matter how well i score i cant get a freaking 3 in my gpa. like wth man.
i havent been sleeping properly these few days either. my sleeping time has gone from2-3 to now 5-7. my body clock is gg haywire.
rawr. watched anastasia just nw. oh the memories.
too bad it was a true for what happened in the movie. lol.
anastasia wasnt the one who got away. it was the second sis. haha.
romanov: the last russian emperial family had the most tragic ending i've ever known. and some how it changes me a lil.
anyway was watching house just now and i'd like to quote this.
" Only when you open up yourself then will you get to see a different view in life."
well it was something like that. lol.
but the main points is more or less there already.
anyways my grandma is gg for an op soon pray that she'll be fine.
ok its time for bed.
-zach
is feeling weird inside.
is trying so hard but cant succeed.
recieved his NS medical checkup letter.
hopes to find somebody something or somewhere he can find peace and rest in.
[[ Zach ]]*|5:25 AM|
Monday, September 15, 2008
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ahh... i feeeeeel much better.
[[ Zach ]]*|4:16 AM|
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走在寒冷下雪的夜空
zou zai han leng xia xue de ye kong
卖着火柴温饱我的梦
mai zhe huo chai wen bao wo de meng
一步步冰冻一步步寂寞
yi bu bu bing dong yi bu bu ji mo
人情寒冷冰冻我的手
ren qing han leng bing dong wo de shou
一包火柴燃烧我的心
yi bao huo chai ran shao wo de xin
寒冷夜里挡不住前行
han leng ye li dang bu zhu qian xing
风刺我的脸雪割我的口
feng ci wo de lian xue ge wo de kou
拖着脚步还能走多久
tuo zhe jiao bu hai neng zou duo jiu
有谁来买我的火柴
you shui lai mai wo de huo chai
有谁将一根根希望全部点燃
you shui jiang yi gen gen xi wang quan bu dian ran
有谁来买我的孤单
you shui lai mai wo de gu dan
有谁来实现我想家的呼唤
you shui lai shi xian wo xiang jia de hu huan
每次点燃火柴微微光芒
mei ci dian ran huo chai wei wei guang mang
看到希望看到梦想
kan dao xi wang kan dao meng xiang
看见天上的妈妈说话
kan jian tian shang de ma ma shuo hua
她说你要勇敢你要坚强
ta shuo ni yao yong gan ni yao jian qiang
不要害怕不要慌张
bu yao hai pa bu yao huang zhang
让你从此不必再流浪
rang ni cong ci bu bi zai liu lang
妈妈牵着你的手回家
ma ma qian zhe ni de shou hui jia
睡在温暖花开的天堂
shui zai wen nuan hua kai de
天堂
tian tang
天堂......
tian tang
[[ Zach ]]*|12:15 AM|
Sunday, September 14, 2008
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Man i feel damn pissed off right now. damn dota. feel like strangling the team at times. and when u ask people to shut the hell up they just dont freaking listen. as a result i kicked the effing person out of the game.
argh. just feel so irritated right now. sometimes i wonder why i feel this way.
i think if i ever get really angry with somebody that person would literally be killed by me.
i seem to have lost all sense of controlling my anger whenever im home any more.
my tolerance lvl has dropped to a lvl whereby i can just scold anything that you know under the sun.
and whats more pastor kay leong was preaching about how we use our tongues and here I am cursing away. damn it damn it damn it.
effing pissed. why why why?
RAWR.
changed my blogskin. suites what im feeling now.
yes there are lots of untold secrets in me. all bottled up.
and with no effing person to share with.
cause people come and go.
and im the next.
so i'll just freaking shut up now and go do whatever i can find to do.
-zach
is feeling very irritated
is having Men's PMS.
[[ Zach ]]*|11:50 PM|
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
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good morning world =)
todays cell was kinda hard hitting on me. well firstly we were talking about james chap 2 which talked about the 3 different kinds of faith we christians have, which are dead faith, demonic faith and cant remember the last one. lol but its gotta do with something about being active. glenn was emphasizing to us why was faith present in our era and nt in the old testament. the main reasoning was because in the old testament God guided the people by a pillar of cloud or fire. and the people were afraid of our God and so in the new testament, God used faith to bring us closer to him. i know im being brief here but if you want to know more you could always ask me and i'll try to explain my best to you =)
anyways carrying on away from the word. later glenn had a prayer session on who wanted to be on fire for God. has anyone ever wondered what it means to be on fire?
well i did today. and glenn explained it to us. he was using an illustration to explain it to us.
heres his illustration:
usually when buildings are on fire besides fire engines and stuff you'd see people gathering round. and this would be the same for God's people when their on fire. if we want to bless and for people to notice us. we need to be on fire!
and so he had a prayer for those who wanted to be on fire for God. and he was doing a prophetic prayer and he just read through my problems and started praying for them. and i'd like to thank God for today and the past week for every thing he has done.
anyways, i do pray and hope that my doubts and confusion would clear soon. I dont know whats the next move i should take. but well i'd just like to let all the people that even though i dont msg or keep in contact with you often any more. I still treat you people as close to me as i ever could.
i guess time will tell whether i should ever make the next move. in the mean time i'll just continue praying!
Thanks be to God.
-zach
is going to bed now.
slept a hell lot today.
is just following the small voice in him and hope he overcomes his obstacles.
is waiting for 18th sept.
[[ Zach ]]*|3:04 AM|
Monday, September 8, 2008
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hey peeps!
guess what? i went to avrils concert last night! haha. thnx to mon mon whose aunt gave him two tix then he cant go so he gave me =D. its was great her voice was really really good! haha. one of the best concerts ive been to. anyways i'll let the pictues do the talking =)
me and selwyn!
Opening act stage
during one of the acts.
Look at her pink piano! lol.
im nt sure if you can see but her mic was pink!
one of the highlights of the show. above the ladies point arm you can see someone sleeping. lol. i dunno how. but she WAS SLEEPING!
Closing Act.
-zach
enjoyed the concert =D
[[ Zach ]]*|1:43 PM|
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
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What is faith?
technically its believing in something that you dont even know about.
but what is it really to you?
This struck me a few times already.
Its been a while since i did a faith check.
Do you believe in things you want to believe anymore?
I was a Faith Kid.
what am I now?
what am I suppose to reflect about faith?
why does the word just keep popping in my head these days?
what is it trying to tell me?
-zach
is scratching his head in blankness.
is listening to boston.
is downloading witchblade.
wants to do things that he hasnt done in a long time.
[[ Zach ]]*|1:39 AM|
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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Heres some photos as promised =)
randomly picked. lol.
[[ Zach ]]*|5:19 AM|
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lol. its 5am and im nt sleeping. no im nt emo. haha. its the holiday sianess!!! haha.
anyways. just felt like posting these lyrics.
the song is We are the Reason by Avalon. this song means a lot to me. and I'd like to just post it here.
We Are The Reason
Avalon
As little children,
we would dream of Christmas Morn'
Of all the gifts and toys
we'd knew we find.
But we never realise,
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift
of our lives.
Chorus:
We were the reason
That he gave his life.
We were the reason
that he suffered and died.
To a world that was lost
He gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live.
As the years went by,
we learnt more about gifts.
The giving of ourselves
and what that means.
On a dark and cloudy day,
a man hung crying in the rain.
All because of love..
All because of Love.
And we were the reason
that He gave his life.
We were the reason that
He suffered and died.
To a world that was lost
He gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live.
I finally found a reason for living
Its in giving every part
of my heart to Him.
And all that I do,
every word that I say,
I'll be giving my all just for Him..
For Him..
For Him.
And we are the reason
that He gave his life.
We were the reason that
He suffered and died.
To a world that was lost
He gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live.
He is our reason to live
Bridge:
(haha. cant remember this part)
-zach
is feeling so darn nostalgic.
[[ Zach ]]*|5:09 AM|
